With the Lions, it Never Ends

As a Detroit sports fan, I must say, it's hard to complain. This past season, the Tigers were the 2006 American League Champions; with wins over Miami and New York the past two days, the Pistons have extended their winning streak to eight games as they climb to the top of the Central Division; and although the Red Wings may not be as dominant as in years past, their 32 points is good for second place in the NHL's Central Division. Plus, the University of Michigan has put together one of the country's premeire college football teams, and Michigan State seems to have yet another solid basketball team. Here in the D, it seems the winning never stops... There is one exception to this. With the Detroit Lions, it is the losing that simply never ends.

After reading a brilliant real life interview with William Clay Ford, I was talking to a friend online about firing Matt Millen. After showing him the interview, he asked, "How old is WCF, anyway?" Naturally, I fired up Wikipedia, where on the Detroit Lions entry, I found the most blatant, simple statement I've ever seen: "The Lions are a disgrace to both the city and state." While this is a widely-known fact, it generally isn't the type of statement you'd expect to be presented as one of the opening lines of a Wikipedia entry. Once you start to think about it, the truth hurts. As fans across Michigan beg for mercy, William Clay Ford stands idly by while Matt Millen runs the team into the ground. Although the Lions were unable to deliver a revenge victory against former QB Joey Harrington on Thanksgiving (Harringon instead went on to burn the Lions for three touchdowns), there was a beacon of hope to come from the Lions' latest chapter of shenanigans. John Czarknecki of Fox Sports has said, "Without a doubt, President and CEO Matt Millen won't be in charge of the Detroit Lions next season." Maybe there is still some humanity left. It's a good thing, too -- I'm not sure how much more I can take of these 2-9 Lions. With injuries beginning to heal and playmakers in place, there simply are no excuses. Jon Kitna should never be sacked eight times in one game, and Joey Harrington should never be able to throw three touchdown passes -- especially against his former team. The Lions could fill their skilled positions with a team of Hall of Famers, but with their disgrace of an offensive line, winning games would still be nearly impossible. At least the defense can at least hold their own (at least by Lions standards), and Jon Kitna is usually solid for the most part, at least when he can get any respectable amount of time in the pocket. In 11 games, the quarterback of our last place Lions has been sacked 41 times. In 11 games for the division leading 9-2 Chicago Bears, Rex Grossman has been sacked just 13 times. The woes of the Lions can be overwhelmingly frustrating at times, even when the bar is already set so low. In Detroit, we know how to win. But within the walls of Ford Field, the Lions are turning losing into an artform by finding new and creative ways to let games slip away each and every Sunday. Hey, at least we have the draft to look forward to, right? It might be safer to say that we can look forward to the draft as long as the Lions swear they won't take any wide receivers in the first round...

Truer words have never been written than, "The Lions are a disgrace to both the city and state." Perhaps the Lions could make our holiday wishes come true by replacing this absolute abomination of a rock-bottom team with one that is just plain mediocre. Or even a team that's just plain bad. Just about anything is better than our Lions, but don't hold your breath, because with the Lions, it simply never ends.